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Thursday, December 9, 2010

You Can't Go Home, Or I can't.

I will do the clothing post at another time.  My heart isn't in it right now and I don't think anyone was hanging on the edge waiting for it lol.
I am optimistic at the start of every new year and am usually happy to see the old one go, but this year I will be very happy to see this year retire.  I got a call from my father's doctor telling me he was in the hospital, and that I need to be there.  The short story is my father is home now recovering after six weeks, thankfully.
I haven't been back to Queens, NY in a long time.   It felt like the population quadrupled since I left and a trip from the airport to the hospital which would have taken 30 to 45 minutes years ago took an hour and a half and it wasn't rush hour yet.  During the car ride, I thought about how many more people there were, how can they evacuate in case of an emergency,  and that I could walk faster than how fast we were driving with all the traffic.  My father stabilized that night and was able to move out of ICU.  He lives in a neighborhood I have never been to and I was staying at his apartment.  It was late and a neighbor of his came and picked me up, another neighbor cleaned Dad's apartment, and even though it was very late, another neighbor offered to cook me dinner.  I was glad my Dad had so many wonderful friends and after hearing about them,  finally was able to place faces with names.   My Dad's place isn't that different from thousands of others on a fixed income.  He has a three room apartment in a basement.  He is actually friends with his landlord, which is wonderful because he looks out for him also and considers Dad a part of his family.  Every dime is watched down to the penny.  The neighbor that offered to cook for me, she and her husband have been unemployed for a while. They all look after each other. 
Walking into my Dad's house without him being there was odd.  He is neat, always was.  Pictures of me and my children were all over and all his cabinets and freezers were full.  Dad has a nebulizer so there is a small generator available.  I had to smile, Dad always felt rich when his cabinets and freezers were full, guess that is where I get it from.  Since he has been ill, he has a scooter with a basket to get around because he doesn't want to rely on anyone, he hasn't been able to drive a car in years.  His new scooter was due to arrive and he was angry because he was in the hospital.  I joked with him that I was going to put a bumper sticker on it that said "It has a Hemi".  
My old accent kicked in a little but an Uncle had commented " Miss Aggie, you sound like a southern belle"  lol.  I was also asked by a nurse's aid if I ate squirrel....I told her no I preferred possum lol.  A lot of people were just curious as to what life was like living in the south which I got a kick out of, you would think I lived on Mars for crying out loud.  Do you miss living in NY?  No.  I think that was the biggest shocker for people.  What I do miss about living close together is that I would most likely have been living by my Dad and helping him.  Where we lived most of our family had been a short distance away but that has all changed now.  I do miss being able to walk to a store or a bunch of neighbors sitting out on a stoop.  I did not miss the traffic, living with people so close to me, the garbage police, pollution, having to be mugger proof and almost stepping in dog crap on the sidewalk.  I did not miss not having the right to defend myself, my home and my family.  I did not miss the cost of living.  It was great spending time with my Dad and my oldest son, though I wish the circumstances had been different.  I visited my old neighborhood and could not believe how much it changed, and not for the better, it was a nice place to grow up.   I was a little sad knowing I would never live there again but I was happy to go home. 
Mississippi, we may be ranked the dumbest, fattest, poorest state in the nation, with the highest rate in teen pregnancy, but we were ranked the happiest, and this Mississippian was damn grateful to be home. 
God bless.

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3 comments:

Ken said...

...wow,i/we get the same effect going back to detroit(going happens less and less)...sheeple wonder about the rural lifestyle,even tho their roots are majority southern(folks we know anyway)...i love my birth state,pound fer pound,mississippi is equal to texas and 'bama for the liberty minded folks...

...special Prayers to You And Yours Aggie...GodBless,Welcome Home

Nasa Information said...

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Marica said...

Hey. Long time & all.

Great post. Hang in there.

Marica

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